Science Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

"It's only a conflict of interest if the data turns out good."

'Prof. Sigurdt has made giant strides in making genetic engineering profitable.'

The Food Chain

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'Sometimes I wish they'd just test vaccines on us.'

Professor...what are you doing?

Acme Labs: 'Never volunteer!'

Mixed Up Genetics - Spineless Porcupine

"You're telling me that's the result of natural selection?"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

How Glaciations Begin

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'