Biology Humorists Pillows

'I'm not sure this was such a great idea -- my throat feels scratchy!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Schrodinger's Black Box

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

Flan-eating bacteria

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'