Genetics Humorist Gifts

"Let's face it, Henshaw, we were not cut out to be genetic engineers."

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Human Sex Chromosomes: Female/Male/Male Who Leaves Fly Open.

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Evolution...the wifi rhino.