Comedy Chemist Gifts

Working On Silly String Theory.

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Albert Einstein

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Scientists are sexy

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Sexual chemistry set

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.