Chemical Comedy Fan Gifts

"Confound it - somebody put a tuna fish in our mercury."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Carbon Dating.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Protoplasm

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Satis Factory Tour

Working On Silly String Theory.

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Moon Line UP

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

How DNA molecules combine.

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

Where Are They Now?

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Electrolyte Orchestra

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"this is Justin, our special effects man."

Tessa

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'