Science Comedy Fan Gifts

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'There's hope for you yet, Dave. According to this article, they've isolated the 'know it all gene'.'

"Will someone get this dog out of here? He's ruining my electron microscope!"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

The life of penguins.

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'