Scientific Humor Fans Gifts

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

So You've Cloned Yourself

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

Flan-eating bacteria

The life of penguins.

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"Ever killed a man?"

"Surprisingly, the soil samples provide new evidence for the 'giant ball of cheese' hypothesis."