Science Joke Fan Gifts

'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

I told you we were late!

Dog forced to return bone

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

The life of penguins.

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

It's an experiment.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'