Chemical Comedy Fan T-Shirts

"Confound it - somebody put a tuna fish in our mercury."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Carbon Dating.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Protoplasm

Satis Factory Tour

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

Moon Line UP

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

Where Are They Now?

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Electrolyte Orchestra

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"this is Justin, our special effects man."

Tessa

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'