Christianity Chuckler Gifts

The Last Supper in a restaurant.

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Honk if you Love Jesus

"...lettuce pray."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

Various Birds of Pray.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

Missing Parsons.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Seats in all parts!"