Chores Avoider Pillows

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'Why iron the back? No none can see the back.'

'Can you put the rubbish out in next door's garden.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Serious Putty

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

The four housemen of procrastination

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

"I virtually finished my homework."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."