Chores Avoider Gifts

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'Why iron the back? No none can see the back.'

'Can you put the rubbish out in next door's garden.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

Serious Putty

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

The four housemen of procrastination

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

"I virtually finished my homework."

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"