Chores Procrastinator Gifts

"Don't even think about going anywhere. It's your turn to mow the yard."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Serious Putty

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

Working from home to-do list.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Studying and technology

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The Procrastinatorium.

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'