Chores Avoiders Gifts

'Lucky is our garbage disposal.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

The four housemen of procrastination

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

Why do chicks dig vampires? They're forbidden, immortal. They have unimaginable strength. They visit at night, bringing wisdom and sensuality. And if they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn you can burn them to death with sunlight! Yikes. They can get housework done while I sleep.

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Before I mow the grass, I'd like to quote from section four, paragraph c, of the state child labor code...'

'Watch out, you'll get tennis elbow.'

Good parenting.

"You hate ironing? Me too."

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"They want us to work an extra two hours, so I'm either going to sneak out my office window or hide in the bathroom."

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

'Got'a be done I s'pose.'

Jimmy Green won't be at school today, this is my father speaking...

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

'Can you put the rubbish out in next door's garden.'