Children Involved In Little League Gifts

Thanks to the amazing new Zap-a-Slacker, parents are able to send a mild electrical current to their daydreamy Little Leaguers.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Kids Playing Doctor.

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"Benjamin, we've discovered, is quite gifted at third base."

'We're doing everything we can to police ourselves on steroids.'

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Sportsmanship

'A good, but not a grand slam!'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

Little League Registration: "Um, I think we're gonna need to see your birth certificate again, son. . ."

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

"The coach said that you play like Ronaldo? Ha! You loser! He told me I play like Chloe Kelly!"

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'Where are we supposed to play now?'

"Maybe you should use this, Dad!"

'I'm glad school's out, but I don't know what we're going to do for weight-bearing exercise.'

'Billy, your mom's hassling the referee again!'

Children trying to play table tennis

Knocked it out of the park

Kids playing doctor.

'These are my rookie cards.'

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

"Your little league coach traded you?"