Chicken Raising Gifts

"And now we just relax, settle down, and smother them until they crack."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Silence of the Chickens...

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'Superstock'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Dogs and Chickens

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

"You knew I was a migratory bird when you married."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Step on it, Larry.'

'Slow down,' I said... 'Watch that bump,' I said... Not only did we lose two of the kds, but who knows what kinda damage that's gonna do to the paint!

'Careful, it's not politically correct to say I rule the roost anymore...'

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."