Chicken Farmer Gifts

"What's the occasion?"

Chicken Nightmares

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"I feel peculiar about having wings. In life, I was a chicken farmer."

"Just my luck. . . I buy a chicken farm and the rooster turns gay!!"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

One day she was going to travel the world.

"Every morning I find two or three of them like this. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"I want them to lay boiled eggs."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'If it's col. Sanders, tell him I'm not here.'

'Not the funky chicken?'

'Yes, I'm a bald headed chicken farmer. Why do you ask?'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

"I see you're going in for free range chickens."

"The farmer steals our eggs every day! Why can't you stop him and defend us? You're truly useless!"

"How can you tell whether it's a rooster or a hen?"

'Step on it, Larry.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

'Superstock'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Well yes, I'm kind of a farmer now: I farm salmon..."

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'