Poultry Rearing Gifts

Chickens

The Rooster Comedian.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"She wishes to range free!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Superstock'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

'Can he come out and play?'

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?"

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'George, stop playing with the children.'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.