Poultry Keeping Gifts

A panel of chicken judges grade another chicken's newly laid egg.

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

American Heatwave: 'Hard-boiled again, Martha?'

'Say, did you know that we actually only use a very small portion of our brain?'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'With daylight savings time starting this weekend, I now have to get up an hour earlier to crow.'

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

'How do roosters in the land of the rising sun get any rest?'

"Admit it, Mary. You've been having hot flashes, again, haven't you?"

How Chickens Deal With Baldness.

Chicken Nightmares

Cloning lab

"And as the hand reached in the coop a voice whispered; 'you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelette'!"

'Hey look, I'm a bucket of chicken.'

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

"You see. She just needed a little encouragement."

...Five...six...seven...oh man! I can't help myself.

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

And the "double-yolker" award this month goes to Irma: three!

'... Now that has to smart and bring tears to your eyes!'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Hen on desert island.

Meet the layer.

'On the count of three we're takin' the bag.....pass it on.'

'I think I'm possessed! I've been laying deviled eggs.'

'It's about to hatch... go boil some water.'

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Rudy, Must you keep singing that song...' children in the morning...children in the evening...children at suppertime?

You certainly have a way with chickens.

'Believe me, Bertha, you won't get stretch marks from laying eggs.'

'It's OK sir, no need to worry. Your chickens aren't ill. . . just drunk from eating fallen apples. You'll still be liable to my extortionate call-out-fee though, sir!'

"Man, I HATE free range chickens!"