Poultry Caretaker Gifts

Egg Catch

"Foster failure"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's a miniature."

'Chicken Farms - Pecking Order'

'They sure have small litters.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Superstock'

'Can he come out and play?'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Dog Food

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"I've had 720 children. I hope they're all doing well."

'Where did the little bird go?'

A cow ventriloquist.

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'