Chef's Special Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I don't like it."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Baker Romance

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

The Perfect Foil

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Feast

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Cookery Lesson.

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."