Chef's Special Enthusiast Pillows

"I don't like it."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

'I was in the catering corps.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Feast

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

The Perfect Foil

Cookery Lesson.

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.