Quirky Chef Admirer T-Shirts

"This is how it works. If you burn the fish it's "blackened cajun delight". And if you can't be stuffed cooking it, it's called Sashimi!"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Bangers and Mash

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

Kentucky Fried Horse

Cheese Secret

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Tastes great, less killing!"

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Artichoking victim

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Roadkill Restaurant

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'What the devil is that?

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Our Troubled Chowders

101 things to do with lutefisk.

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Chernobyl Chow