Quirky Chefs T-Shirts

"So, tin cans and just general garbage and stuff. Do we want any appetizers?"

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

Cutting round an igloo...

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Bangers and Mash

'I think I'll go home and eat'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Sushi Train Spotters

"Give him his food."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'What the devil is that?

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'