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"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

“It's his first hibachi.”

I found out something last night that just totally destroyed my entire worldview. The burrito, as most Americans know it, did not actually come from Mexico. Or maybe it did. The internet is of two minds about the issue. The point is, if you can't count on the burrito being Mexican, you can't count on anything. I have something to tell you about Chop Suey.

Quark soup

"Oh no! Not Polynesian again!"

'I don't know what I ordered, but I think it's going to be good!'

Inappropriate garnish.

"How did you get on with the food while on holiday?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Domestic Goddess.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'