Cuisine Aficionado T-Shirts

" 'Chicken Vindaloo for the Hindu Soul' is but the tip of the iceberg in our initial strategy of global expansion."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

La Table

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Baker Romance

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."