Eating Aficionado T-Shirts

'Of course your stomach's upset after a big dinner. No pain, no gain.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

La Table

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Party time.

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'