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Busy Afternoon in the Whitebait Factory

'Boy, our son is sharp!'

'What do you mean it's not as good as your mother used to make?'

"Forty minutes at three hundred and fifty degrees should do it, Miriam, but don't neglect to baste continuously."

Housewives meet Top Chef

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

'Never mind the flambe, I'll have the icecream.'

'Yes, dear. Cell phones and credit cards can work wonders. If you can make a shrinking-machine, a gas oven that works under water, and an apple pie like my mother used to bake, I'll be very impressed.'

"I wish for once it wasn't a dog eat dog world..."

'If you say one more word about how heavy my Mother's potato dumplings were, I'll scream!'

'Wait guys, don't go hunting without me, I'll get some tomato sauce...'

Church picnic

Come dine with me!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Life is for the birds.

Domestic Goddess.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Try to guess the continent dining...

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue