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'-and did anyone notice my little faux pas with the meat balls?'

'I sent out for everything.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Too much cilantro

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Cat Cooking Bird.

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Recipes.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

Hot Halloween Costumes

'The casserole didn't make it.'

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"I don't like it."

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

"At what point did my Boeuf Bourguignonne become a pejorative beef stew?"

'Stop worrying, Wally's wife said, you're not going to screw up, and the hyena boys aren't going to laugh at you.'

Fly in soup, "Gutsy little bugger isn't he?"

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.