Chef Admirers T-Shirts

'I sent out for everything.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Hot Halloween Costumes

"I don't like it."

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Just call me Delia...'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

The Second-to-last Supper.

'Well excuse me, but if your chef's so great, why is he in the kitchen instead of a TV show?'

What salt shakers find amusing

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

John Toroda and Gregg Wallace

"Hey Bob, come quick, I've found a carcass, and big bonus: It's crawling with maggots!"

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

'Please remember, it's the ambience you're paying for here.'

Death of the cook

''Mediterranean cooking', well we've got Jamie Oliver, Delia Smith, Gordon Ramsay and some Italian I've never heard of...'

'Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!'

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'