Amateur Chef T-Shirts

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

Cat Cooking Bird.

'One piece of toast or two?'

"Did you know that the Pilgrims probably ate eels, onions and liverwort at the first Thanksgiving?"

"If we can't find all the ingredients, we'll just make something horrible."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Frog mistakes blender for time machine.

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

BUS, 'I asked Muriel for a hot breakfast, and she microwaved a bowl of corn flakes.'

'This 'chicken' stuff isn't bad -- it tastes like dinosaur!'

"So far the hardest thing about the divorce has been learning to cook again."

'The gravy turned out a bit thick.'

Man trying to create what the presenter on TV programme has created!

'So your husband doesn't like your cooking. Well it smells wonderful, could I have the recipe?'

"I joined one of those sites where they send you fresh ingredients and you cook it yourself."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Hang on a second fellas, that mayonnaise has been in the hot sun for quite a while now.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'I'm the only follower you have on Twitter, Dad. If you didn't like your dinner you could just tell me to my face.'

"I don't like this hot dish."

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Don't we have anything new and improved for dinner?"

"Gravy turned out a little thick."

"Dinner's on the table, some assembly is required."

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"

"Are you sure you can cure me of leg cramps?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you overcook the salmon?"

Too much cilantro