Amateur Chef Escapades T-Shirts

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Too much cilantro

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Your meal sounded nice."

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

All-Day Breakfast

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Well-done, alright?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Cat Cooking Bird.

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Recipes.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

The Family Joules: Part 14

'The casserole didn't make it.'