Kitchen Escapades Aficionado T-Shirts

'What was this, before you incinerated it?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

All-Day Breakfast

I made you a cake!

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

The Inexperienced Cook

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Oil Spill: 'Oh dear! That was the last of our extra virgin.'

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Time for pancakes!

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'If they rise they're scones. If not they're pancakes.'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Mrs Jones's fish pie could be smelt for miles around!

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

Egg Surprise