Chatty Competitor Gifts

'I must remember to keep my mouth shut when the other guy is serving.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

The Unsportables: Relay

Danth battle?

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

'It wasn't so much a hostile takeover as it was a best 2 out of 3 pillow fight.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'Your smile came in a distant third.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

Communication

A Man mixing up his sports.

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

"Foul!"

Dadonomics

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

Small Talk Outlet

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

Space Hopper Rodeo

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'