Celebrity Marriage Skeptic Gifts

Liz Hurley and Shane Warne engagement.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Marriage least expected to last...

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

'She'll be back!!!'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

Marriage Exit Strategy

Stay Tuned

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

"It worries me that you keepreferring to our honeymoon as our 'honeymoon period.'"

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

'Can I get a refund if we break up before Valentine's Day?'

A wedding cake with paparazzi on the first tier

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

My worst nightmare is to be a trophy wife. We're on the same page. My worst nightmare is marriage.

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.