Celebrity Marriage Skeptic Pillows

Liz Hurley and Shane Warne engagement.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Marriage least expected to last...

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

'She'll be back!!!'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

Marriage Exit Strategy

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

Stay Tuned

'It was my late grandmother's. She would've wanted you to have it.'

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"

A wedding cake with paparazzi on the first tier

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

"....After 'So long as we both do live', we'd like to ass 'or we get fed up with each other'."

"It worries me that you keepreferring to our honeymoon as our 'honeymoon period.'"

'Can I get a refund if we break up before Valentine's Day?'

Celebrity Autobiography...

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.