Marriage Skeptics Gifts

Just married.

Elderly spinster expressing the belief that most marriages turn out miserably.

Welcome to Serenity Chapel...home of the 14 day risk free marriage.

Marriage Exit Strategy

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Marriage least expected to last...

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

The Sleeping Congregation.

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

You are cordially invited...

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."