Marriage Skeptics Gifts

Just married.

Elderly spinster expressing the belief that most marriages turn out miserably.

Welcome to Serenity Chapel...home of the 14 day risk free marriage.

Marriage Exit Strategy

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Marriage least expected to last...

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

You are cordially invited...

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."