Romance Skeptics Gifts

He wasn't a bad guy, just easily distracted.

"When is it ever the right time to ask for a divorce?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

I'll bet you're going to tell me about something that you say in 'Time' Magazine."

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried -- it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

"My mother was right about you."

'I'd love to see you again, just not in this lifetime!'

I admit it's an intangible, but our couples are really in love.

Cupid - Unsolicited.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Cupid misses his shot.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Cupid's Valentine

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."