Romance Skeptics Pillows

He wasn't a bad guy, just easily distracted.

"When is it ever the right time to ask for a divorce?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

I'll bet you're going to tell me about something that you say in 'Time' Magazine."

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried -- it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

"My mother was right about you."

'I'd love to see you again, just not in this lifetime!'

I admit it's an intangible, but our couples are really in love.

Cupid - Unsolicited.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

The Sleeping Congregation.

Cupid misses his shot.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

Yes, but.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'