Love Skeptic Pillows

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Tunnel of Love exit.

Just married for tax purposes

"There's a twenty in it for you if you just keep moving."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

Cupid misses his shot.

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

'He's a man of many parts-although none of them work in the bedroom.'

"I now pronounce you husband and wife...actual results may vary."

'Do you, Delores, promise to love and cherish Robert, for who he is and not for his generous pension?'

Man anchors suspenders to ground as he prepares to jump with girlfriend at lover's leap.

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

"Would you still love me if I won Lotto?"

'Never trust a man with testicles.'

A candy heart reading 'LOL' is struck with an arrow

'Muriel says that our relationship has matured and she's ready to cash it in.'

"It's over between us, Clifford. . . I'm switching providers."

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

"Let me reiterate. Humans don't mate for life."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

"Just to be sure, before I finish inking, is it a solid, long-term relationship?"

Boycott datingsite.com

"I believe there's one woman out there for every man."

'...For better or, but not limited to, worse?'

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Second Thoughts Wedding

Lovers Leap - "Sod that!"

'We don't seem to be going anywhere.'

'He's worried now. I told him to think of our affair as a pilot project.'

Jerkophobia.

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

You can be a real jerk sometimes Cupid.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'