Love Skeptics Pillows

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

'I don't care how many arrows you use. It's not going to work with this guy. So beat it, you little brat.'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"Uh-uh! No way! Don't even think about it!"

Cherub arrested.

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

Serial Romeo

'Once I got past her pheromones, there was nothing there.'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

"You were the one, but now I need another one."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Yes, but.

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'