Love Skeptics Gifts

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"I'm sorry - till when do us part?"

Tunnel of Love.

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

'I don't care how many arrows you use. It's not going to work with this guy. So beat it, you little brat.'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

"Uh-uh! No way! Don't even think about it!"

Cherub arrested.

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

Serial Romeo

'Once I got past her pheromones, there was nothing there.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

"You were the one, but now I need another one."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Cupid misses his shot.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Yes, but.

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'