Love's Gentle Skeptic Gifts

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

Cupid misses his shot.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

Cupid's Valentine

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

Yes, but.

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

Second Thoughts Wedding

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

"And you're telling me this because?"

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."