Love's Gentle Skeptic Prints

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

Cupid misses his shot.

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

Yes, but.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Second Thoughts Wedding

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

'And don't say you could have done it cheaper and better at home.'

"He's falsified data, he's falsified results...and now he says he loves me."