True Love Skeptic Gifts

'You never kiss me like that.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

true love.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

Cupid misses his shot.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

Cupid's Valentine

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."