True Love Skeptic T-Shirts

'You never kiss me like that.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

Marriage least expected to last...

true love.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

The Sleeping Congregation.

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

Cupid's Valentine

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."