Matrimony Skeptic Gifts

Looking for a clever gift for someone who’s skeptical about marriage? Our collection celebrates the humor and wit of those who prefer to keep their options open. Whether they’re happily single or just love a good laugh about relationships, our products are designed to bring a smile. From playful mugs to witty prints, find something that captures their unique perspective on matrimony. Show you understand their humor with gifts that speak directly to their heart—lighthearted, fun, and totally relatable.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

The Sleeping Congregation.

from $19.00

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.' mockup

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

from $19.00

Life is for the birds.

from $19.00

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think." mockup

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

from $19.00

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..." mockup

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

from $19.00

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks." mockup

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

from $19.00

Marriage least expected to last... mockup

Marriage least expected to last...

from $19.00

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead." mockup

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

from $19.00

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?' mockup

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

from $19.00

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.' mockup

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

from $19.00

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level." mockup

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

from $19.00

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.' mockup

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

from $19.00

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar." mockup

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

from $19.00

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!' mockup

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

from $19.00

Cupid misses his shot.

from $19.00

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage." mockup

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

from $19.00

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties." mockup

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

from $19.00

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am." mockup

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

from $19.00

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?' mockup

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

from $19.00

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.' mockup

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

from $19.00

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American." mockup

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

from $19.00

"Stop undressing me with your eyes." mockup

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

from $19.00

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her. mockup

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

from $19.00

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less." mockup

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

from $19.00

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?" mockup

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

from $19.00

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.' mockup

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

from $19.00

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart." mockup

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

from $19.00

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer." mockup

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

from $19.00

Yes, but.

from $19.00

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.' mockup

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

from $19.00

Cupid's Valentine

from $19.00

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!' mockup

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

from $19.00

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?" mockup

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

from $19.00

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone." mockup

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

from $19.00

Matrimony Skeptic Gifts Collection

Matrimony Skeptic Mugs

Explore our collection of humorous mugs that capture the witty spirit of matrimony skeptics—great for their morning brew or as a funny gift.

Matrimony Skeptic Pillows

Browse our collection of funny pillows featuring matrimony skepticism—ideal for sprucing up their space with humor.

Matrimony Skeptic Prints

Check out our humorous prints that highlight the amusing side of matrimony doubts—great for decorating with personality.

Matrimony Skeptic T-Shirts

Discover funny t-shirts that playfully mock marriage fears—perfect for anyone who enjoys a good laugh about love and commitment.