Celebrity Marriage Gifts

'She'll be back!!!'

A wedding cake with paparazzi on the first tier

'Do you swear to be faithless and hump everything with a pulse while she's not looking as long as you both need re-hab?'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

The americanisation of vulture.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Tom Hanks

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Joe Henry

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."