Celebrity Chef Chaser Pillows

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

How I met your mother

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

TV Chef Cooking Range

Hollywood or bust!

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Frank Zappa

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

As Seen On TV