Celebrity Chasers Pillows

Man selling 'Maps to Stars for $5.00' next to lady selling 'Maps to People with 15 Minutes of Fame for 50 Cents'.

Street vendor selling 'Maps to stars' stalkers'.

Line of men waiting for Anna Nicole Smith.

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"He's deliciously vintage."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

All-Candy Seder.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Hollywood or bust!

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

Restraining orders from the stars.

Skinhead guppy.

As Seen On TV

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

The Daily Fury

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

Signing cage.

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'